car rides

I’ve been trying to read Crazy Love by Francis Chan for like a year.  I asked for it for Christmas last year and finally started it sometime this summer.  Not that it’s not a great book…and I love to read but I just rarely find time for it.  But on the way back to Columbia from College Life weekend in Gatlinburg, I picked it up.  The book talks a lot about being lukewarm, and this one part was talking about the verses from Matthew 16:24-25.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.”

I know these verses.  I know I am to give up everything in order to follow my Savior.  I know I am to lose my life, or die to myself.  But I started thinking about the things that are easy for me to give up.  I don’t have a problem with the Lord being the one to decide where I live for the rest of my life, or the next few months, or what type of job I am to have, if I am to have a job, or if I am to get married.  I would gladly move across the world or country, or into an unsafe neighborhood, live off of less so that others can have more and trust the Lord to provide, be a part of a church plant, or dedicate my life to working in ministry, and often even desire to do those things.  It hasn’t been all that hard for me to give up my plans and desires, and I’ve learned to not make as many with the realization that the Lord will likely have something else in mind.  That isn’t really the hard part.

Then I started to think about dying to myself daily.  I can die to my long-term plans, that’s fine, but what do I do to make sure I am giving everything up each day of my life?  What do I do to put myself last in every circumstance?  What do I do to constantly show others the grace I’ve been shown?  How do I love the people around me in every look, word, and action?  Do I love the Lord with all my heart, mind, and soul?  Every single day?  How hard do I work to make sure I get time alone with my Savior everyday? and a whole day with Him once a week?  Do I fight the temptations of Satan, the world, and my flesh as hard as I can everyday?  How often do I stop asking for things and just praise my Father in heaven?  Am I pointing others towards Him every single time they look at me?  Am I a walking picture of Jesus on this earth?  Do I have an attitude that is the same as that of Christ Jesus?

Not nearly enough.

Luke 14:33 says “In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.”

truth in the form of a children’s song

my God is so BIG, so STRONG, and so MIGHTY.

there’s NOTHING my God cannot do.

melly fresh

Melissa moved in with me and Scoop in March, and the past 5 months have flown by.  Melissa has officially moved all her stuff out of our house as of today, and although I am really excited that Taylor is moving in (and almost can’t believe it, because it’s been a long wait), I miss Melissa a ton already. So Beck, Julie, and Lauren here are some things I’ve learned and want to tell you about your future roomie.

she falls asleep with her light on all the time. Probably 6 nights out of the week.

she will come home from work with some really great/crazy/mildly inappropriate stories to tell you.

she will probably let you use anything you ask to use. She’s selfless like that.

she will leave you notes all the time. It’s a simple way for her to show you she loves you.

she will dominate any wasp that flies in your house…but will run from cockroaches.

she will fall asleep on your bed instead of her own. Hahaha (and if she is sleeping around 9:00pm you should probably wake her up, because she probably laid down to take a nap and slept longer than she was planning on doing)

she loves to paint and cook incase you didn’t already know.

she is incredibly encouraging and loving.

she will tell you she loves you more often than anyone else in the world will.

she is great at hospitality and making people feel welcome in her home.

she doesn’t take care of her car…so yall should be better than I was about making her get things fixed. (I’m convinced its nearing its end and she currently needs new headlights)

she is more often joking around than being serious.

she is a walking picture of Christ’s love.

she is a wonderful roommate and will make for some really fun times and great conversations.  and you will enjoy living with her.

So Melissa, it’s been fun.  You have been a blessing, as a roommate and friend, and I’m really thankful that God worked things out the way He did. I will miss turning your light off at night…and plenty of other things about living with you. you think we could still work it out to where we see each other every day? I love you and am thankful for you.

to anyone who has ever washed the dishes in my sink

I am so thankful for you.  Whether it was last week, 3 months ago, or a year ago, I am still very thankful.  I hate washing dishes very much…and it took me an hour and a half yesterday (I know, crazy. I have OCD about some things), and while I was doing this I was thanking God for everyone that has done it so that I didn’t have to. Seriously. And the fact that I’m still thinking about it today is a testament to my sincerity.

On a completely unrelated note…I like this blog post from the Stuff Christians Like blog.

suggestion.

go here and download phil wickham’s “singalong” and enjoy. thank you kathryn witzke.

listen.

A few days ago, thanks to Katie Brewer’s post, I listened to a podcast called “Holiness.”  and this morning I started “The End of the World” series.  both by Francis Chan.  “the end of the world” is a 5 part series and i’ve only listened to the first 2 so far.  but it’s good stuff.  go listen.

how long

i really like this song right now.

Tonight the stars speak of your infinite love
And it serves to remind me
That what I have means nothing at all
Compared to your glory, Oh Lord

How long till your voice speaks clearly?
How long till your arms envelope me?
I cry, be my strength when I am weak
Oh Lord, have mercy on me please

My spirit is willing but my flesh is so weak
I cry in your arms now
God grant me the strength to rest in you
I lift my hands and cry

-”Tonight the Stars Speak”  The Glorious Unseen

smack in the face

So, last night I was talking with a friend about a relationship that I have, or lack thereof really.  This relationship has been kind of destroyed through self-centeredness on both ends.  The problem with that is…I love Jesus, and am not supposed to be self-centered. See, this girl does not love Jesus. She’s really lost actually, and therefore is not held to the same standard as I am.  And so today I turned to Colossians 3 and this is what I read.

“You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.  But now you must rid yourself of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips (verses 7&8)…Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (verses 12-14)

I’ve wasted so much time being angry and bitter towards this person.  But I’m called to love her and forgive her just as I’ve been forgiven, because I used to do the same things.  And I know this, but what makes me think she’s the exception to all this?  I really need Jesus to give me a humble heart and the ability to be patient with her and show her grace.  Cause I’ve proven I can’t do it on my own.  Anyway, today I was really thankful for the conversation that a lot of these thoughts came out of, and for the Word, and that God uses it to smack me in the face sometimes.

understanding vs. obedience

God likes to drill things into my heart. Like the truth that His will is good and perfect. Repeatedly, God likes to not fill me in on what He is doing, or is going to do, but asks me to follow Him anyway.

And I learn over and over that I’m not always going to understand what God is doing, or why He is telling me the things He is telling me, or asking me to make changes I don’t want to make, but He asks me to trust Him, to put my faith in Him, and to be obedient even though it might not make sense to me.

And I can be confident that my God will not lead me astray. He will not abandon me. But He will draw me closer to Him, and give me a peace that only He can give, and He will show me, again and again, that His will is perfect and the absolute best thing for me.

“I have considered my ways and have turned my steps toward your statutes.  I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.” (Psalm 119:59&60)

Thank you God for giving me the strength to obey you. Thank you for always showing me that your will is good and pleasing. Continue to draw me closer to you. You are so so good.

loves of mine

i just wanna talk about things I really enjoy…well because i really enjoy them.

children. i want 5.   soccer. i miss it a ton.   Redbone Alley. best shrimp and grits i’ve ever had. i worked there last summer and i still love it (although i did not enjoy working there all that much).   my family. they are insane.   the beach. feels kinda like home.   weddings and marriage. God came up with a really wonderful thing when he thought of marriage, and weddings are just beautiful.   music. again God really blessed us with this one.   church. what church is really supposed to be…although i do love midtown a lot, we’re not quiet there yet.   real conversations. about things that matter.    getting to know people.   i love hearing about people’s families and how they grew up, things they’ve been through.   sabbaths. even though i’m not that good at this (i’m working on it).   journals/blogs.   i really like reading other people’s thoughts and stuff, and being able to look back on my own.   hot chocolate and coffee.   it’s just good.   going to Florence to visit the fam and old friends.   ministry. i’m so glad God thought it would be ok to let us in on the work He wants to do here.   football. everything about it, playing, watching, it’s just so much fun.   kenya. i want to go back as soon as i get the chance.   flowers. they’re so pretty.   being alone. i credit this to growing up with 6 brothers and sisters.   reading. i don’t do it a ton, but i wish i had more time for it.   life group. they’re so awesome.   laughing. think about it. how much do you enjoy a good laugh?   hoodies. i’m always dissappointed when i don’t have pockets to put my hands in.   pictures. i don’t take them that often anymore thanks to facebook.   the rest of my friends. i would be really bored without them.   spending time with Jesus.   He is just so good.

and this song is wonderful.